I think it's my age but all my friends and people I work with are having children. Or at least are getting married and I'm sure kids are not far behind. Now I'm not going to have children but hearing them all talk about them has made me realise I do have an ethos on raising children. And it stems from my own childhood.
I know many people say how differently they would raise their own kids from how they were raised. In some ways I would (hypothetically) do things differently, the fights I had with my parents about hair dying or piercings were stupid and unnecessary, they should have conceded some of the small stuff, but looking back I had a pretty good childhood. Actually it was great, especially if you don't look at the bullying, torment and hospital visits. But that's another story.
There is a guy at work who is married with two kids under the age of 5. Nice bloke, nice wife, nice kids, nice family. But what bugs me most of all is the money he spends on those kids. I'm not talking hundreds on designer clothes or toys, but his philosophy seems to be that kids can only have fun if you spend money. An example, if I may. A few weeks ago he had the kids whilst his wife was at work, he asked for suggestions for things to do with them. Being a nice weekend I suggested a kick around in the park and perhaps a picnic. He shot me down and ended up taking them to some carnival where he spent £3.50 each on balloons, and money here and there on sweets, ice cream, games etc. Now I'm not saying that the kids didn't have a fun day but after £30 they are not going to remember it any more than a free day in the park. And that's not all, they can't take the kids out without spending money on something - entrance fees, souveniers, drinks, food, vending machines.
It got me thinking about when I was much younger. We didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up in the 80's and early 90's but I never really felt I was missing out, in fact the opposite. I was lucky, we were always busy and my sisters and I were always making something or doing something. And mostly for free or very cheap.
Every weekend we went for a walk in the countryside, and yes, we were sometimes bored, but our parents made it fun. When the rhodedendrons dropped we would collect them on sticks, we learnt the names of the trees and flowers. Our parents rewarded us with little things, a go on the swings, occasionally an ice cream, or even a lemonade in a pub garden. Because these were treats we didn't expect them and it made an outing extra special.
But we had just as much fun at home. When I think back at the good times I don't think of the toys or games, I remember cooking with my mum in the kitchen, making jam tarts and cakes, licking the spoon and helping to decorate. I learnt to bake at my mum's apron strings. But the most fun my sisters and I had was with a cardboard box. Sometimes things like a new TV came in giant cardboard boxes and we would spend days entertained by this box. We'd sit in it and push each other around, make den's or God knows what else. When it fell apart we'd draw on it or cut it up. So much fun!
We were all creative, playing in washing baskets, playing schools or supermarkets when my mum would give us packets and tins from her kitchen we could use with our till. We'd make 'rose perfume' from fallen rose petals or my nana would teach us to sew or knit. During the long summer holidays we would keep scrap books or diaries, sticking in pressed flowers or ticket stubs and even, on one rainy afternoon, cutting up and pasting an Argos catalogue!
It saddens me that so many kids now are not going to have memories like this. Where riding bikes, a trip to the library or pond dipping in the woods was a good afternoon. When these kids grow up they aren't going to remember what computer game they played, how many trips to McDonalds they had or how much money was spent. So, what are they going to remember fondly when they look back?
