My Athiest Christmas

Somewhere along the line I lost the Christmas magic that I had when I was young. I no longer have the excitement that makes this time of year special. Maybe this is how lots of people feel at this time of year. Maybe not. Maybe I'm just strange.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a scrooge, but there are things about Christmas that annoy me. How Christmas seems to begin around mid-September and drags on and on, so that by the time December rolls around it’s like ‘has Christmas still not happened yet?’. What’s wrong with holding off the Christmas decorations until at least the end of November? There is only so many times you can hear Jingle Bells or I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday before you want to kill somebody. Not exactly in the Christmas spirit really.

And 'works' Christmas parties are a nightmare. I have no objection to going for drinks or a meal with colleagues per se, but I don’t get the ‘but it’s Christmas’ mentality to get completely hammered and act like a wanker. I don’t see why I *have* to drink heavily with people I may or may not like just because it’s Christmas. And everything is three times as expensive (who can afford a £25 meal two weeks before Christmas?). Plus, go out to any town or city the last Friday before Christmas and it's like the monkeys have been let loose with a bottle of Vodka. Mad.

But enough ranting. There are things I do like about this time of year. My family’s Christmases tend to be big, usually fifteen people plus and loud and mad. Christmas to me usually means being packed into a car, literally, unable to move for bags and presents. And with some kind of desert on my lap. Then it means camping out on relatives floors and waking up in a room with two or three other people. Fabulous idea for about 20 minutes until I remember why last Christmas I swore I’d never do it again.

Then there's the cooking. My mum has always been a big baker and every year we spend days baking cakes, gingerbread, mince pies, quiches, anything you can think of! We always have more food than we know what to do with and at any point over the christmas period someone will be in the kitchen grazing on turkey or breadsticks or cheese or gerkins.

I quite like Christmas songs, the traditional ones and carols. Maybe that's where some of the magic was lost to me. When I was young we used to always go to the candlelight carols service at church and it was beautiful and made me feel Christmassy. I don't tend to go to church now, mainly because I developed my own beliefs a long time ago, but I would go to a carol service if I had the chance. But I almost feel ashamed to say it, to me, Christmas isn't about religion. It's about family, gifts, laughter, cold walks, hot meals and fun.

So now Christmas is only a few days away and I don't feel festive at all. I am stressing over the presents yet to be wrapped, packing not done, fridge to be cleaned and work to be completed. Still I'm hoping that come Christmas Eve when I get out of work and head 'home' to my parents it will start to happen. By the time we all gather and the children turn up it will be loud and rumbuncous and 14 conversations will all be going at once, it'll be Christmas once again.

Happy Holidays
S x.